The words of the godly are like sterling silver. The words of the godly encourage many.Proverbs 10:20-21
How do we talk without arguing? It begins with a resolution:
I will not condemn your thoughts, but I will try to understand them.
When you respond to your loved one, your words can be encouraging or discouraging. For example, compare “That’s an interesting thought. Would you like to explain that further?”
with “That’s the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard. How could you think that?”
Which is more likely to elicit further sharing from your spouse, child or friend?
The book of Job contains many negative conversational examples. In Job 8:1-2, Job’s supposed friend Bildad responds harshly to Job, who has been pouring out his heart about his difficult situation.
Bildad’s words (“How long will you go on like this? You sound like a blustering wind.”) contrast sharply with King Solomon’s descriptions of the words of the godly, which are valuable and encouraging.
Here are some conversation starters to help you develop deeper communication:
Read the same article or passage of scripture and share your thoughts with each other.
Watch a movie or television program and answer these questions: Was there a message in this movie?
What did you find objectionable? What did you find most interesting?
Read a book on any subject, one chapter per week, and tell each other one idea you found intriguing or helpful in the chapter.
With any of these options, concentrate on understanding each other rather than trying to prove your point or be “right.” Intimacy is developed by positive conversations.
These kinds of intentional discussions, when practiced over a period of time, will stimulate intellectual intimacy, which may well lead to emotional intimacy and all other levels of intimacy.
Good communication is a key to a strong marriage 💑 and relationships 👏 👌.
Prayer 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Father, forgive me for the times when my words have been more like Bildad’s than like King Solomon’s. I pray that as a family may grow in our ability to have conversations without arguing. May these help us understand each other better.
Shalom.